Roxanne’s Glimpse of The Matrix
- At June 12, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 5
Or Why I Hate Technology.
So last week, I started having some trouble getting online with my desktop computer. This is my main brain, and the fact that I’m so dependent on something I understand so poorly makes me very uncomfortable. Paranoid, even. Technology bothers me, like a splinter in my mind.
Then the new printer quit.
Then none of the networked laptops could get online.
It was horrible. Like being dropped back into the seventies, onto a big black dial phone that won’t stop ringing. I couldn’t Tweet or Like or Share. I couldn’t even send an email to explain that I Couldn’t SEND AN EMAIL. So now that I can again, I thought I’d explain to those of you who follow me (yes, both of you!) why I disappeared temporarily.
I did all the usual things to fix it: restart computer, unplug and replug router, push buttons on modem, bang hands on desk. Nothing worked. So I sent an urgent Hail Mary SOS to Morpheus, our computer technician. After two hours – and this guy is good – he shook his head and said Something Very Bad and Unusual Occurred and you may be Totally Technologically Screwed. Apologies for the jargon.
Yay. Did I mention that our old cordless phones have 3 seconds of charge, making them useful only for screening our vacation winnings, and that I communicate almost entirely by email? (Of course I use Pinkie, my iPhone 4, but she lives a fairly sheltered life. I don’t want to stress her out.)
So the next morning, I put Pinkie on speaker and called my internet service provider. After about an hour of clicking and pointing and whatnot, they told me “everything’s JUST FINE on our end. It’s your router.” So I followed the White Rabbit…
…to the router customer service number. I attempted to interpret the polite instructions of our call-center representative. I have to say, she pulled out all the stops. But after another hour of various machinations, including standing in the closet, plugging a five-pound laptop into the too-high router, with a too-short cable, then balancing it on my shoulder, while my daughter typed in commands above her head, all she could tell us is that “it’s not us. It must be them.”
So I called my provider back. I think they could hear my eyes spinning over the phone because they hastily agreed to send a technician out first thing in the morning.
Long story short, after replacing the modem, the router, a bunch of cords and plugs and whatnot, it was discovered (not by me) that a cable doohickey from 12 years ago had cracked or something.
So everything’s just fine.
Well. Something won’t stop twitching in my forehead. But at least I’m online again.
Solja Boy Gangnam Style? Um, No.
- At June 01, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
As many of you know, we’ve got a wedding coming up this summer. My big contribution (besides the bride!) is getting our yard in shape for the ceremony. Fortunately, we’ve got a talented landscaper helping us, so it should be spectacular-spectacular!
But it occurred to me that before the reception, I might want to learn a few basic dance moves. Since I love to dance. And have no ability to do so.
Naturally, I went to YouTube. Do you have any idea how many dance tutorials are out there?!? Well, I didn’t.
I won’t be doing this:
I won’t be doing this, either:
So I’m going to focus on learning three moves. Three. There is nothing more basic than this. Wish me luck.
Wedding Bliss
- At April 25, 2014
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
Wedding Bliss!
This summer, our oldest daughter is getting married, right in our own backyard! I’m so excited to be a mother-of-the-bride. Thankfully, Bridezilla is nowhere to be found!
My own wedding, many years ago, was a small affair in a beautiful old stone chapel near where my husband and I met. As we lived in Ontario and the wedding was in Saskatchewan, this meant planning-by-distance. I do not recommend this.
We flew in a week before the whirlwind event, and flew out the morning after. Thanks to my family, it was a lovely ceremony. My sister – and only bridesmaid – made it even more special by singing for us, a beautiful song that had everyone in tears.
My daughter is also planning her wedding from a distance. Fortunately, she’s super-organized, a good thing, since she has seven – that’s right, seven – bridesmaids! But if I know my girl, it will still feel intimate, focused on friends, family and fun. And of course, the celebration of love.
In my latest release, RESISTING THE RANCHER, the story unfolds in the weeks leading up to a garden wedding at which my hero Jonah and heroine Celia are best man and maid-of-honor. I confess that as I wrote the wedding scene, I was imagining the flowers and decorations that will adorn our own yard this summer.
There’s something special about every celebration of love. Whether you were there as the bride, groom, attendant, parent, guest or guy who parks the cars, is there a special wedding memory you’d like to share with us?
From a guest blog post at Kate M. George