The F-Word
- At March 27, 2019
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Rox Reads, Roxanne Writes On
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There’s a book on sale in Kindle-land today called The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach to Living a Good Life
In this generation-defining self-help guide, a superstar blogger cuts through the crap to show us how to stop trying to be “positive” all the time so that we can truly become better, happier people.
For decades, we’ve been told that positive thinking is the key to a happy, rich life. “F**k positivity,” Mark Manson says. “Let’s be honest, shit is f**ked and we have to live with it.” In his wildly popular Internet blog, Manson doesn’t sugarcoat or equivocate. He tells it like it is—a dose of raw, refreshing, honest truth that is sorely lacking today. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is his antidote to the coddling, let’s-all-feel-good mindset that has infected American society and spoiled a generation, rewarding them with gold medals just for showing up.
Manson makes the argument, backed both by academic research and well-timed poop jokes, that improving our lives hinges not on our ability to turn lemons into lemonade, but on learning to stomach lemons better. Human beings are flawed and limited—”not everybody can be extraordinary, there are winners and losers in society, and some of it is not fair or your fault.” Manson advises us to get to know our limitations and accept them. Once we embrace our fears, faults, and uncertainties, once we stop running and avoiding and start confronting painful truths, we can begin to find the courage, perseverance, honesty, responsibility, curiosity, and forgiveness we seek.
There are only so many things we can give a f**k about so we need to figure out which ones really matter, Manson makes clear. While money is nice, caring about what you do with your life is better, because true wealth is about experience. A much-needed grab-you-by-the-shoulders-and-look-you-in-the-eye moment of real-talk, filled with entertaining stories and profane, ruthless humor, The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k is a refreshing slap for a generation to help them lead contented, grounded lives.
I agree with all of this and I’ve got no particular hangup about the F-word. Unfortunately, I’m 55, the tail end of the baby boomer generation and have absolutely not got a millenial mindset. The vagueness and lack of research citations mentioned in numerous reviews would be problematic for me. I can rarely recall hard substantiating data when expounding my own wisdom, but I do require it when paying to hear someone else expound theirs. Mark Manson might have enough wind to flap a flag, but he’s not fanning the flame of my interest.
What do you think?
Thrills and Chills
Great recent reads in the thriller category, which may or may not still be on sale, so check closely. I love a good suspense/thriller novel and these all fit the bill as solid 5 star reads. See what you think!
Six million acres of Adirondack forest separate Natalie and Doug Larson from civilization. For the newlyweds, an isolated backcountry honeymoon seems ideal-a chance to start their lives together with an adventure. But just as Natalie and Doug begin to explore the dark interiors of their own hearts, as well as the depths of their love for each other, it becomes clear that they are not alone in the woods.
Because six million acres makes it easy for the wicked to hide. And even easier for someone to go missing for good.
As they struggle with the worst the wilderness has to offer, a man watches them, wielding the forest like a weapon. He wants something from them more terrifying than death. And once they are near his domain, he will do everything in his power to make sure they never walk out again.
Driven to spend days alone in the wilderness, Amy Raye Latour, mother of two, is compelled by the quiet and the rush of nature. But this time, her venture into a remote area leaves her on the verge of the precarious edge that she’s flirted with her entire life.
When Amy Raye doesn’t return to camp, ranger Pru Hathaway and her dog respond to the missing person call. After an unexpected snowfall and few leads, the operation turns into a search and recovery.
As the novel follows Amy Raye and Pru in alternating threads, Breaking Wild assumes the white-knuckled pace of a thriller, laying bare Amy Raye’s ultimate reckoning with the secrets of her life and Pru’s dogged pursuit of the woman who, against all odds, she believes she can find.
Alex Dale is lost. Destructive habits have cost her a marriage and a journalism career. All she has left is her routine: a morning run until her body aches, then a few hours of forgettable work before the past grabs hold and drags her down. Every day is treading water, every night is drowning. Until Alex discovers Amy Stevenson. Amy Stevenson, who was just another girl from a nearby town until the day she was found unconscious after a merciless assault. Amy Stevenson, who has been in a coma for fifteen years, forgotten by the world. Amy Stevenson, who, unbeknownst to her doctors, remains locked inside her body, conscious but paralyzed, reliving the past.
Soon Alex’s routine includes visiting hours at the hospital, then interviews with the original suspects in the attack. But what starts as a reporter’s story becomes a personal obsession. How do you solve a crime when the only witness lived but cannot tell the tale? Unable to tear herself away from her attempt to uncover the unspeakable truth, Alex realizes she’s not just chasing a story—she’s seeking salvation.
Shifting from present to past and back again, Try Not to Breathe unfolds layer by layer until its heart-stopping conclusion. The result is an utterly immersive, unforgettable debut.
Edgar Award-winning author Mindy McGinnis delivers a riveting contemporary YA novel that examines rape culture through alternating perspectives. A stunning, unforgettable page-turner.
Alex Craft knows how to kill someone. And she doesn’t feel bad about it.
Three years ago, when her older sister, Anna, was murdered and the killer walked free, Alex uncaged the language she knows best—the language of violence.
While her own crime goes unpunished, Alex knows she can’t be trusted among other people. Not with Jack, the star athlete who wants to really know her but still feels guilty over the role he played the night Anna’s body was discovered. And not with Peekay, the preacher’s kid with a defiant streak who befriends Alex while they volunteer at an animal shelter. Not anyone.
As their senior year unfolds, Alex’s darker nature breaks out, setting these three teens on a collision course that will change their lives forever.
What I’m Reading
- At March 16, 2019
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Rox Reads, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
When Bad Things and Dark Times threaten to overwhelm me, I always take refuge in stories of hope, redemption, courage, love. In reading of the struggles others have gone through, I find courage to meet my own challenges, to rise above my fears and become stronger.
Here are the books that are giving me courage right now.
When I look at narcissism through the vulnerability lens, I see the shame-based fear of being ordinary. I see the fear of never feeling extraordinary enough to be noticed, to be lovable, to belong, or to cultivate a sense of purpose.
Boy, do I ever understand this. It’s hard to be ordinary. It’s hard to feel like I’m enough, just me, with my flaws and fears and talents and gifts. Someone, somewhere, is always more, better, smarter, farther along on this journey, while I’m just here, peddling as fast as I can.
Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives. The power that connection holds in our lives was confirmed when the main concern about connection emerged as the fear of disconnection; the fear that something we have done or failed to do, something about who we are or where we come from, has made us unlovable and unworthy of connection.
That fear lives large in me. As a child growing up introverted and artistic in a community that valued practicality and extroversion, I was always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, of being laughed at or excluded or deemed unworthy by some metric. I worked hard to raise my children to know that they are loved and accepted unconditionally, that they are worthy. In mothering, I learned to give myself that same love. But being vulnerable is such a risk.
There are many tenets of Wholeheartedness, but at its very core is vulnerability and worthiness; facing uncertainty, exposure, and emotional risks, and knowing that I am enough.
Isn’t that beautiful? Anyway, I’m loving this book right now.
Ellen O’Farrell is a professional hypnotherapist who works out of the eccentric beachfront home she inherited from her grandparents. It’s a nice life, except for her tumultuous relationship history. She’s stoic about it, but at this point, Ellen wouldn’t mind a lasting one. When she meets Patrick, she’s optimistic. He’s attractive, single, employed, and best of all, he seems to like her back. Then comes that dreaded moment: He thinks they should have a talk.
Braced for the worst, Ellen is pleasantly surprised. It turns out that Patrick’s ex-girlfriend is stalking him. Ellen thinks, Actually, that’s kind of interesting. She’s dating someone worth stalking. She’s intrigued by the woman’s motives. In fact, she’d even love to meet her.
Ellen doesn’t know it, but she already has.
From the author of My Dear One… a gripping sequel that sweeps us back in time and across an ocean in a desperate race for answers that unearths dangerous truths, and inspires heart-breaking sacrifice, all in the name of love…
1914 A woman forced to face her past …Suffering amnesia following a tragic accident, Dianna Douglas struggles to fit into a marriage, and family, she has no recollection of helping create. When her memory returns with brutal clarity of her young son who’s vanished and is believed dead, victim of the same storm that almost killed her, she refuses to accept he’s gone forever…
A man desperate for closure…Jake Douglas lost his first wife and son in childbirth. To cope with the pain of their loss he walled himself off from those who would have loved him. Dianna, and the children they’re raising together, gave him reason to break out of his self-imposed prison and learn to live—and love—again. Now he’s willing to do whatever it takes to find answers—provide closure—for the woman, and family, he loves…
Two hearts determined to reclaim their own…The quest for clues to their son’s disappearance leads Jake to England just as Britain joins the war against Germany, while Dianna stays in Texas to keep home fires burning. But when weeks turn to months without word from Jake, Dianna is forced to leave her daughters behind and return to the land of her birth where she unearths dangerous truths and exposes devastating lies that send her on desperate race against time to save both the child and the man she loves… a perilous fight to reunite her family… make them, and their hearts, whole again.
This book dovetails nicely with the concept of worthiness, as the heroine, Ellie, struggles with how her life choices have affected her children. But she isn’t cowed or self-pitying. She doesn’t expect much from men, but when she discovers love, she doesn’t question whether or not she deserves it. She knows she’s worthy – even if others have decided she’s not. She might be down on her luck, but she’s a queen.
Paige has only a few vivid memories of her mother, who abandoned her at five years old. Now, having left her father behind in Chicago for dreams of art school and marriage to an ambitious young doctor, she finds herself with a child of her own. But her mother’s absence and shameful memories of her past force her to doubt whether she could ever be capable of bringing joy and meaning into the life of her child, gifts her own mother never gave.
Harvesting the Heart is written with astonishing clarity and evocative detail, convincing in its depiction of emotional pain, love, and vulnerability, and recalls the writing of Alice Hoffman and Kristin Hannah. Out of Paige’s struggle to find wholeness, Jodi Picoult crafts an absorbing novel peopled by richly drawn characters, and explores motherhood with a power and depth only she is capable of.-
There is an island off the west coast of Ireland called Inis Murúch — the Island of the Mermaids — a world where myth is more powerful than truth, and love can overcome even death. It is here that Lisa Carey sets her lyrical and sensual first novel, weaving together the voices and lives of three generations of Irish and Irish-American women.
Years ago, the fierce and beautiful Grace stole away from the island with her small daughter, Gráinne, unable to bear its isolation. Now Gráinne is motherless at fifteen, and a grandmother she has never met has come to take her back. Her heart is pulled between a life in which she no longer belongs and a family she cannot remember. But only on Inis Murúch can she begin to understand the forces that have torn her family apart.
