End the R-word

Today is End the R-Word day. You know what word I’m talking about. It was once a commonly used term for someone with intellectual disabilities. The word itself – retard, a verb meaning “to delay or hold back” – is benign. But when used as a noun, it becomes something else, a pejorative, a hurtful, offensive, derogatory way of categorizing and excluding those in the disability community.

Throughout my life, I’ve been exposed in various ways to people with disabilities. I had an uncle with Down syndrome. In school, I volunteered with special needs classes. Later, I worked in nursing homes, with a wide variety of people, and a wide variety of abilities. My sister, brother and brother-in-law work with people with special needs. Differently-abled people aren’t foreign or particularly frightening to me. Or, I should say, they’re no more foreign and frightening to me than most people. 🙂

But I understand that if you’ve never known a single person with special needs, it’s easier to categorize them all into one box and put that box up on a high shelf, where it can’t frighten you and you don’t have to look at it.

So when I wrote The Chocolate Comeback (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 7), I deliberately included a young man with Down syndrome. I wanted to introduce readers to a character they may have never encountered before, and let them get to know him. I thought, once they met Mark, they might see that he’s just a person, with a person’s thoughts and feelings.

It was a risk, I knew. These are romance readers. They might not want to read about this much “real life.” People might judge my portrayal of this young man harshly, either painting him too idealized or too “old-school”. They might avoid the book, thinking the story would be dark or sad.

But that’s not what happened. People loved it. In fact, at the moment, it is my top rated book, with reviews averaging 4.8 on Amazon. They use words like “entertaining” and “heartfelt” and “positive” and even “fun.” Here are some comments I got:

from BookGannet:

This book was such a delight to read. Not just because of the way DeeDee softens and changes throughout it, or the way Isaac slowly changes his view of many things, but because of Mark. He’s such a great, positive representation of Down syndrome…

from LadyWithAQuill:

What I loved most about this book was that it tackled such a heavy topic – developmental disabilities – and didn’t sugarcoat the reality of it. We saw both angles, that of the family member and that of an outsider with zero experience joining that family. While her first book in this series [The Chocolate Cure (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 4)] remains my favorite, I think this one gets so deep and made me want to be a better person.

From Marsha@KeeperBookshelf, who has family connections with the disability community:

…this story is realistic. It’s well thought out and researched. It is believable and at times brutally honest. I’ve come to realize that there are three categories of humans, those that accept people no matter their differences, those that are afraid of what they don’t know and will do everything to tear down a person for their differences, and those that might have a touch of non-thinking cruelty but soon discover that people are people no matter their differences and come to accept and enjoy every person in their own right. We encounter all three of those in The Chocolate Comeback. And Mark’s portrayal and that acceptance of reality is a major part of what made this story so believable for me – and enjoyable as well.

from Kristen Lewendon:

Wow. There are so many big messages and even bigger emotions in this book. Messages of respect, understanding, tolerance, love, hope, and redemption fill the pages and are so skillfully woven into the story you almost don’t even realize you’re hearing them.

I particularly loved writing this book. Below are a few scenes. For a bit of backstory, my heroine, DeeDee, is a failed fashion model who’s taken a temporary position as companion to Mark, a young man with Down syndrome, who lives with his older brother, Isaac, the hero. DeeDee doesn’t start off as a very sympathetic character. Here, while jogging in the park, DeeDee sees Mark and Isaac for the first time, when her sister Maddie points them out, knowing Isaac needs to hire a companion for Mark.

One was tall and athletic, the other short and wide, like a fireplug. Even from this distance, DeeDee could see he was handicapped in some way. The tall guy jogged backward and forward as if impatient to get going.

“How would you feel about being a care aide?” Maddie asked.

DeeDee laughed. “Care aide? This is me you’re talking to. Those are not words commonly associated with me.” She glanced at the two men again. “Especially if you’re talking about short-bus, there.”

Maddie shot her a disapproving look. “Really? You’re better than that, DeeDee.”

A pang of remorse tweaked DeeDee's stomach. It was just a joke. “Don’t bet on it.”

“His name is Mark, and he has Down syndrome. He’s Isaac’s brother and a real sweetie.”

“Then he doesn’t deserve me. Mom replaced Goldie the Goldfish twelve times and I didn’t even notice.”

Maddie waved away her concerns. “You were eight. You’ve grown.”

In fact, DeeDee still has a lot of growing to do. But grow, she does. Toward the end, she has just organized a baby shower for a single expectant mother named Portia, and half the town has turned up, including a nasty, bigoted woman named Carol Bingley. This is a scene that had readers cheering.

"If Portia’s going to do this on her own," Carol said, "she needs to toughen up, the sooner, the better. Especially if there’s something wrong with the baby. That aunt of hers had one with mental defects, after all. Maybe it runs in the family.”

Isaac had joined her just in time to hear this part of Carol’s rant, and DeeDee saw him stiffen at her words.

She put up a hand to keep him from talking. She had this, cold.

“Portia's little cousin has Down syndrome," DeeDee said. "There’s a young man over by the door with Down syndrome. His name is Mark. Sara Maria, the girl with him, is autistic. That cute kid standing by the food table is Jade. She has Asperger’s Syndrome. You’ll want to watch what you say about people with special needs.”

“Oh, I know, everyone’s special these days,” Carol said. “But no one hopes for an abnormal child. If it has problems, I don’t know how Portia will cope, an unwed mother as she is. Even if her baby is normal—”

“Normal like who?” DeeDee lowered her voice. “You? I hope not.”

Carol’s lips tightened. “No one would blame her for putting it up for adoption. Which makes you wonder why we’re having a party—”

DeeDee grabbed Carol’s elbow and yanked her toward the door. “This,” she said, “is a happy event. You and your opinions aren’t welcome here. Now, get out.”

She shoved her through the door and closed it behind her, barely managing to resist kicking it.

Our fictitious world of Marietta, Montana is full of wonderful characters. Sara Marie, the girl with autism, comes from Melt My Heart, Cowboy (Love at the Chocolate Shop Book 1) by my pal C.J. Carmichael, and I introduced Jade in Her Montana Hero (Montana Home Book 1). Have you read any books that with characters with special needs?