Day 58 Night Shift
- At April 12, 2011
- By Roxanne Snopek
- In Life, Roxanne Writes On
- 0
Another sleepless night.
My youngest daughter is fighting a virus and I think she’s given it to me, thanks darling. I don’t know what it is about colds, but don’t you feel that whenever you’ve got one, it’s the worst thing ever?? The pain in your chest is like, probably, a heart attack. Your sinuses feel, you imagine, how they might feel if someone poured Drano down your nose. You wonder if people going through chemo ache like this in their bones.
You know it’s just a cold. But still. A tiny bit of your brain wonders if this time, you might die of it.
The first thing to go for me is the ability to sleep. Partly a menopause thing, partly my own personal cross to bear. If I’m excited, I can’t sleep. If I’m depressed, I can’t sleep. If I’m hungry, angry, worried, I can’t sleep. Those mornings that I get up, aware that I did not see the clock at 2 am or 3:30 am or 5 am, I feel like doing cartwheels on the lawn. I SLEPT last night, people! I can do ANYTHING!
But then there are the other nights. I’m like Goldilocks, trapped on a dark, Escher-like treadmill. Too cold. More blankets. Too hot. Blankets off. I’m hungry, so I get a snack. Full stomach turns into Restless Legs Syndrome. Stretching my legs turns into yoga. Yoga becomes meditation. Meditation becomes an idea for a story. Which ends up with me huddled beneath a dim light with my notebook.
At least I’m getting something done.
But if I don’t get some sleep soon, the Sneaky Hate Spiral will kick in, and someone’s gonna get hurt.